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I Am NOT My Past

April 20, 2016

ranibu

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I don’t quite remember the details of it happening when I was 4. I just remember not wanting to go to the bathroom by myself anymore. By the time I turned 7, it happened again. Once was by a female, and another by my “best friend’s” older brother. To this day, I can still smell his sweat and hear his grunts. That changed me. I stopped going outside to play. I became angry. I was already insecure, but then I became despondent. Somehow I “survived” sexual abuse/assault until after I had my own child, and it happened again. I knew him, or so I thought. We were active before, but agreed to stop because of the strain on our relationship…or so I thought. This time I woke up in a hotel room hurting really bad, blood flowing and very disoriented. Because I consented before, I knew nobody would believe me…he…

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